(Every so often, my mind tries to collapse into itself.  I sink.  I used to allow it.  Now…

Day 54.)

Yes, I understand what you’re going through…

I’m honored to be the Universe’s vessel.
But as a vessel,
I have no control over the cosmic contents I’m to carry.

The burden of space is weightless
Until the gravity of nine planets in your system pulls at the light in your soul
Occasionally the revolution seems more burden than blessing
And sometimes
I hope the black hole wins.

Responsibility should inspire progression
Higher powers instill no more than my shoulders can handle
But the pressure of gods placing their faith in you
The divinity brings this man to his knees.

It’s not selfish to question your purpose
I think
I think it’s not selfish to wonder if my brother’s life was meant for my motivation.
I’ve apologized to his memory more times than there are stars in my possession
And I still feel guilty
Guilty for an unknown
Some unexplored planet that orbits the darkest recesses of my galaxy
I should let it go
Give it no label in this solar system
But nothing about it
About him
Is meaningless.

This is what happens when a star cluster bursts
A big bang of theory
An explosion of questions that sound better explained by God.

I’ll rather be a vessel.