(My soul… Day 231…)

I feel different today.  I don’t know what else to say…

I had three epiphanies this morning.
Something about the bathroom fosters thinking.

Oppressors do not lie to insult our intelligence
They do so to flaunt their autonomy
The law wears camouflage
Armed with assault weaponry
Bullets coated in rubber amendments
Reciting the first words of the Constitution in smoke signal
The Bill of Rights barricade an entire block of people
With their death certificates printed on the back of it

Neutral people are worse than these oppressors
The enemy known is better than the one hiding under the covers
Such learned behavior is dangerous
Claim neutrality like the Swiss if you want
But don’t be surprised when your people have holes in them
I’ll be waiting with open arms and an “I told you so.”

I cannot deny the mountains of angst and worry resting on my spirit
Layers of Himalayas as I watch a country attempt to eradicate those born in her womb
My soul is heavy
I waited for the final bale of lies to break vertebrae
I feel this gravity
This magnetic pull from within my stomach
Then I realized
That’s not depression
Not sorrow
That’s fire.
Years and years of having to corral this blaze centuries old has agitated it so much that the embers flicker in my eyes
I can’t call it rage.
My intellect is reinforced at the seams
But that mask
The foundation we apply every day to hide the beauty marks that inferno has left
Is cracking.

So as I sit in my bathtub
The time for pretending is over.