I received an email:

“I tried on your last name today.
It dangled like hoop earrings.
The wind wanted to carry it away
But it just made me more noisy in my travels.

It hurt
Just a slight pinch
It hurt
Like love
Trying not to focus on the pain doesn’t ease the anticipation
Looking at forever
Didn’t make today sting any less
I just want you to know
I went through with it.”

I read this, thinking,
Is that why the email before this says
“I don’t need you”?
I must have been another hole in her head.