#WriteFree365 – Day 307: Sensible Heart

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(One of those days, ya know?  Day 307…)

At times, so self-destructive with no intent or motive.  But behind this emotion, a sensible heart…

It’s so much easier to destroy self
When I know every point of weakness
So careful with removing each piece
That I don’t realize the destruction
Until rubble surrounds me
And all that is left is a heart so sensitive to the touch
It forgot how sturdy it truly is.

Life is hard on the heart
It’s harder when I’m squeezing the veins
Then wondering why I have high blood pressure
My heart’s still beating
Therefore all that life has placed on my chest hasn’t been strong enough to stop it.
So why do I not trust that I’ll be okay?
I will be okay.

#WriteFree365 – Day 143: Constant Knot

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(Occasionally, my choice for favorite song from Dallas Green changes.  As of this moment, this one is the choice for Day 143…)

How do I end up this way: a constant knot in my gut, tied with uncertainty and with lust?

The butterflies in my stomach have gotten fat from feeding on fear.
They stumble over themselves.
Where innocent flutter informed me of the unknown
They lean, applying pressure to my loins, adding to the stress on my heart
So I feel lust and ignore the feeling I’d actually be able to love

Love should make one nervous
It’s grandiose beauty makes us question our capability to be its vessel.
But I’ve allowed these winged messengers of nervousness get so heavy
That I believe there is no room for you in my heart
Only space to release arousal

The sigh after we make love
Is filled with the relief that the omission love we created is enough keep my heart from exploding
And damaging yours.

#WriteFree365 Day 5: Day Old Hate

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(I really, really like these.  Day Five.)

Dallas Green is amazing.

Yesterday
Both of us were underwater
Speaking through waves of emotion
Overcome by the undercurrent of seeing our cruiseship hit an iceberg.
When “Let’s talk it out” meets cold shoulders,
We go down.
Here we are
Drifting in the abandonment of failing manmade creation.
Hanging onto planks of kisses past.
Anything to make us float with the weight in our hearts.

Save your breath.
We need to use our strength to salvage what remains of you and me
Not necessarily us
Because I’d hate to see you drown.
Or
Just hold my head under
If seeing me flailing for survival works better than shallow conversation.
I’ll eventually stop struggling.

Today
Your kiss breathed new life into me.
Thank you for bringing me to safety.