#WriteFree365 – Day 97: Culture of Fear

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(Fuck fear.  I apologize if profanity offends you, but fuck fear.  Don’t let it rule you.  It’ll try to, and you may have weaker days.  But never let it win.  Day 97…)

Don’t succumb to this culture of fear…

It’s in our heads like our favorite song
Jamming to our racing hearts
Making our heads nod and shoulders shrug in rhythmic uncertainty.
We hold up the walls in front of us
Instead of letting the music give us the courage to move.

We wear it.
Show it off proudly like fresh sneakers
So afraid of taking the wrong step
And end up with dirty kicks
But when we were kids
The dirt meant we had fun
Go have fun
And stop worrying about if the toe on your shoes will wrinkle
You’ll have a story to tell.

We let fear determine who we are.
What the latest trends should be.
And we let fear determine if we won’t fit in.

The world is about standing out anyway
Boldly embracing being comfortable in your spirit
And wearing it proudly.

#WriteFree365 Day 8: Can’t Get Out of This Mood

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(I believe this is the first time where the subject matter has no relation to the song title.  I wonder what this means for future freewrites.  Day 8.)

From the legendary Ms. Simone. You’ll never see me refer to her by first name.

I saw something in the corner of my ceiling
Because I didn’t know exactly what it was, I feared what it could be.
Images of flying spawns of the devil himself buzzed through my head.
Worse yet
What if it crawled?

My skin trembled with worry
As if its antennas sensed my intimidation
It began to move closer
And closer
But also
Closer to striking range.
So I grabbed the nearest object next to me
And swung
And beat it until I was satisfied.
I killed it even though I didn’t know what it was.

Used to be imagined bugs in the corner
Scared of what loomed over my head,
I treated it like something venomous.
I waited for potential partners to move closer
I found the courage to ease my fear through overreacting to harmless specks of dust.
I didn’t know what it is,
And I killed it
Before I knew what it could be.

Writing Out Fear

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(This was written with writers in mind; but please use this if it applies.)

It’s okay to be afraid.
Just understand it is the first step to being courageous.
You will get there
I know it seems as far away as tunnel lights
I know every idea is a detour farther down that abyss of doubt.
But you are just making your home into a hideout.

I see you
Cowering in the corner of a room you decorated
Knees to your chest
You turned where you reside into Oz
Afraid of the dark
Swept up in a tornado of worries imagined.
Let me remind you that the fluorescence of your soul glows in this blackness
Shine like the neon colored constellation you are
When the light bulb clicks like ruby red heels
Then those nights will be highlights of triumphs you created.

Become the boogie monster.
Catch the rhythm of your increased heartbeat and dance through your fears
Be empowered by the bassline in your throat so your cadence jibes with the melody in the hearts of listeners

Be puppet and Geopetto
And you’ll never have to wish for realness.
Writer’s block is nothing more than your nose hitting the paper before your pen does.
The manifestation of believing something stops you from the very thing the Universe designed you to do
Be afraid
You have a right to be intimidated by what is not yet understood
But don’t you dare lie
Tug on your own strings and marvel at what you carved from fright

And when the tears fade
When their remnants blot the page and what you see would diagnose you as insane
Every thing.
Every memory.
Welcome every intrusive thought with open notebook
Until every dream and every nightmare is on paper
And how awesome you will be is all you might be scared of.

God, Part Three

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(Editor’s Note: this is the third time I’ve written of my conversations with Him.)

Ay, Man
Uh, You know what I mean.
Here we are again.
As You know, I’m Johnathan
A long-tenured member
We’ve had a couple conversations awhile ago
I’m sure You remember.
I’ve returned with more grievances.
Paramount of them is:
What’s with the condemnation that plagues my soul?

I live as if I’m at my last day
But with my fate already paved to calamity up ahead.
When I ask for guidance and sympathy when I pray
You know and won’t tell.
I gotta say,
I’m not too fond of this one-sided secrecy.

Why do I have to feed Your omniscence
If You won’t ease the tremors in my mind?
Whose ego needs to be checked?
You know I’m approaching you with all due respect
But I just need to know how I can get odds on my side.

In which woman’s soul does Lady Luck reside?
So I can go apologize
Because I’m sick of rolling through life with snake eyes

I need to get the Devil out of my sight.
But it seems contacting You is like shooting craps
And I can never seem to hit Your number
All seven of them.
Now I got you.
I tell You,
If it isn’t one thing, it’s another
You or Your staff make countless blunders.
You are in charge.
Answer me this:
Which angel left my brother?
I want him fired.
That has absolutely nothing to do with our discussion.
But since I have Your ear
I think You should hear all the grievances to better be able to restore faith in Your loyal customer.

I’m sick of being told to hold on.
Of waiting on the automated tone to tell me which option to press.
Don’t You fucking categorize my requests.

Excuse my language.

I am trying to be patient
But You are close to losing one
This is an emergency
Since I can’t seem to schedule a surgery
This blessing is pertinent and I’m forced to wait.

My heart needs an operation
It’s so clogged
I brought it to the altar
Don’t let it die on this table

Remove the scarred tissue
Resolve all my issues
I just want to be free.
See the future as blissful
Not an execution date.
I’m not expecting You to say the exact itinerary of my tomorrows.
But help me quit wallowing in yesterdays
And fix the place doubt hollowed
Fill it with hope.
Hope that I can profit from the dice in my hand.

I just want to understand
Since I know that You can
Help me believe that though I don’t
You’ll help because You give a damn.
And will take this damned feeling away.
In Your name I pray,
Ay, man.
You know what I mean.