Torture

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
In vacancy, wanting to meet turns privilege to greed.
No need to romanticize these thoughts.
Absence also makes certain body parts grow…longer.

…And painful
I claim to be in control of my emotions
Yet with her not close I yield to the craving of her flesh
Now that I finally have her here, she must experience the anguish I felt.
I must return the favor with fervor,
Bind her frame, then free her urges.


Long after farewell, it begins
In a chamber without mental inhibition, wrists and ankles are imprisoned
No touching.
Her skin on mine is missing,
So she has nothing to help her brace what I had to endure.
The coldness of loneliness is gradually being overshadowed by the warmth of stimulation so pure.

She can bear it. For sure.

Moments pass as remnants of her and I dance across her eyelids
Cravings build. She requires me to converse with her above and below her waistline.
For tongue and lips to devour lips and thighs.

Sleeping, provides no relief, and it is worse while awake
I orchestrate the time between breaks so the misery lasts
The more she aches
The more she begs me to take her body into my grasp and reciprocate this feeling I have:
To pay her back for my suffering through passionate thrusting
Until tormented orgasms causes her to shake.

She can bear it…I hope so, for her sake.


Desire in her sighs,
Fantasies intensify with every exhale
Every deep breath,
Increases the need to make me understand the depths of sexual distress I caused
By exploring the depths of ecstasy in her walls.

Lust tests her sanity
I tease her with her own wishes
Hanging them over her head, so they are impossible to reach
Just like I am.

Distant lover, releasing the passions in her heart.
Beyond her range, yet still within her sight
She yearns for internal massages
Absence makes carnal passion grow stronger.

She can bear it…no longer

Wanting to take matter into her hands
The ropes restrict her.
Screaming, writhing.
Not knowing whether she needs to be released, or restrained tighter to further push her pleasure past previous limits.
Freedom in bondage
She opens up while restricted.
A slave to her arousal.
The evidence is in her quivers.

She loves the torture
She loves the pain
She loves that I know she loves it
Because only I can make her feel this way.

She can bear it, until we meet again.


Peace.

Dear Love (The "Who Hurt You?" Poem)

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Fuck you.
Fuck you for…
Before I start mentioning,
I hope you’re listening
Because I have a list of things
That, according to my reasoning,
Grant me permission for beginning this letter with obscenities.

First, fuck you for having me assume
That once I saw you for the first time that would be all I needed
I really believed that
No of that looking for you in all the wrong places
I got a glimpse of your face before my perception of you was broken.

I was jolly in my naivete
Let down defenses.
Little did I know.
I left my chest open
Hoping I would grow older with a woman I thought had true you in her when she was chosen.
All the while you had your blade drawn, waiting on the right moment
To thrust into me.
And you did.
If you were going to fence my heart
I would rather it be pawned after you stole it
Instead of stabbing and leaving a hole in it.

Chicks dig scars
But not ones across that body part
Time heals all wounds but why did you leave an imprint of when you started the clock?

Fuck you for that.
Word up.
You’ve done shit to my soul I never heard of
Through people I know never heard of you
And for what?
To know it is better to know you and watch you run away
Than to never have known you existed at all?
Fuck that cliche.

You are the highest proof of the divine
Yet you insist on testing the depths I will go to have you in my life.
That is fucked up
And worse, you know that no matter what you do,
You still have my trust.

Fuck you for letting Lust wear your clothing.
She has tricked me too many times,
And yes I am casting blame on you
Because had you stayed the first time
I could know my passion was from being into you
And not from being played by someone who tries desperately to imitate you.

Maybe I was blind.
You know, like how you make so many of us.
But I guess the reason behind that is you want us to sense you without using sight.


Whatever.

Also, fuck you for allowing objects of my affection to talk about you when they don’t mean it.
Knowing damn well they don’t know your name well enough to speak it.
Fleeting is their understanding of you
Or oblivious is mine
Then when I realize I don’t see you
Seeking you momentarily feels like a lie
Though despite it
I know you’re true.
Even though you weren’t all there the last time.
Fuck you for being so strong in me that it took so long to break the tie between she and I.
So we could be reunited.
I and you.

Dear Love,
I hate you
I love you
I…you…you
No stutter
I you you
But I hate how you use me then leave when things get too hectic
Yet I love how you use me because you know I will always be your vessel to skeptics.

I hate how you have left each time I have wanted our encounters to last.
I love knowing that when we meet again, that previous goodbye could be our last.

Sincerely,
I ask that you heal me.
You always do.


Peace.

Eyewitness

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From what I observed,
The victim got what he deserved.
In front of my eyes,
I witnessed the most passionate crime.
Through a flawless assassination,
He brought an end to aspiration.
I watched the execution take place
With a look of justification on my face.
Yet, suicidal was my acceptance.
The villain was so smooth and effortless.
He crept in like doubt,
Knowing where to hide out.
Right in the shadows of the sun,
From the place his plot first begun,
The killer arises.
And with perfect timing,
Committed in total silence.
A swift, but painful act of violence.
His deed is completed.
The slayer has retreated…
The slayer has retreated.
His deed is completed.
A swift, but painful act of violence,
Committed in total silence,
And with perfect timing.
The killer arises
From the place his plot first begun–
Right in the shadows of the sun.
Knowing where to hide out,
He crept in like doubt.
The villain was so smooth and effortless;
Yet suicidal was my acceptance.
With a look of justification on my face,
I watched the execution take place.
He brought an end to aspiration
Through a flawless assassination.
I witnessed the most passionate crime
In front of my eyes.
I got what I deserved,
From what I observed.

That is what happens when I even think of letting my dreams be deferred.


Peace.

Embracing The Unknown

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I have no clue what the hell I am doing

Out with the old. In with the newer, unsure of if I am worthy.

But I proceed anyway, since she said I was deserving

I have everything I will need on this journey.

Societal influences? Yup.

The way my heart melted the first time she looked into it? Mmhmm.

The visions of her I get when seeing her in music? Also included.

A list of what I hope are the right priorities eternities long,

Labeled as from Prague

Checked off, but still foreign to me.

Here I am, headed towards destiny with no idea how to start.

I had to find a way. Heart yearned to expand its flames

Burned for a chance to blaze a path of greatness.

No matter how rough the road, it is one we have to take

We will navigate the sharp turns and flat terrain



When it has to rain

When the blood, sweat, and tears run to my cleft…

I will look in her eyes, hear her joyous smiles, and instantly be reminded of why we left

Take my past knowledge in my left

My future foundations in my right.

With her in my chest

We embark on a new life

My feelings in her hands

Showing where the signs are positioned

Her cries in my eyes

Joy and pain in our vision

Progress towards destiny

Love language is our mission

We will see and understand it all

Determined to finish.



This is what I have been waiting for, right?

Desert old life

The opportunity of a lifetime

For a chance at a lifetime with a lover

And foolishly with no foresight.

Hers or mine

The blind needing the blind

Is how our passions are tied to each other

So what? I love her

From when I had no idea of what my soul realized was fact

To when I was in old defiance of that

To now with the understanding of our trails united

Mine sparked and hers as the torch to keep it ignited

We want to build together, though, despite what we lack.

Questing on with questions

Knowing the answers lie ahead

Connecting through progression

Going where our spirits direct.

In the threads of our hearts are the notes of everything we have been through.

On the journey with no idea where it will end

But it is the one we were meant to.

To be continued…



Peace.

Learning The Guitar

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I’ve decided to learn the guitar

Not to be one of those dudes in the park

Strumming along in hopes of finger-picking my way into lady parts

Another reason.

Other than most of the meals I’ve eaten,

All the Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo.

And (insert name of liquor)

There aren’t too many things I’ve finished that were not necessary

Saying, “I’ll get to that later.”

I have countless poems, paintings, song lists on various media players,

Feelings of attraction, paling hearts, souls, emotions, all waiting

Wasting away because I was too afraid to commit.



Even with things I already had knowledge of

Things I was good at.

Ya know, “artsy” stuff.

Drawings and coloring books gathering dust,

The ability to love and gain another’s trust

Cast aside because I chose not to stay disciplined

“Oh, that will be there when I return.”

“Oh, she’ll like me even though I give her affection on my terms.”

Placing life on pause like some sort of game.

Toying with intimidation, playing it as boredom

Knowing deep down I was completely afraid of completion.

But not this

Once I get my hands on this instrument and place my ten to her six

I will be her apprentice

Submitting to her stringed will because I don’t know shit

About her

But there’s something about her

The depth she gets on her own power

No extension cords. Just progressive ones

The pain I’ll feel in my hands will be a respectful one.

I’ll be memorizing the alphabet in another language

Our conversations will be horrible until I master her speech patterns

I’ll marvel at her appearance until that happens



I love her beauty enough to engrave it into my spirit.

Be as understanding of her soul as she is of mine when I hear it

She soothes me

Easing my unknown in a way so I no longer fear it.

That’s what ailed me

Being scared of investing time in something not knowing the outcome.

Undone projects, deeds, and heartfelt

“I like you’s”

Sitting in a pile marked “Never Will Become”

I won’t do that with her

I will finish what I’ve begun

See something develop that I started because I chose to do it

Even though, I get the feeling she did the choosing.

Once I caress my acoustic

Despite the truth that I’m going to be terrible at it for a long time

For once in my life

I’m gonna stick through it



Peace.

Tears For A Clown

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This is to the funniest person I have ever known.

He who had a joke for every situation

Through careful observation.

With such comedic timing, it is no wonder he was not on someone’s TV show.

Funny ran through your veins, muscles and skin. Not just a bone.

Naturally gifted at turning straight faces smiling.

Lighting up room with a mind and wit like Midas that whatever subject it touched turned to gold.

Though we only shared one parent’s chromosomes

There was nothing half between us.

Our love was whole.

Our blood, our souls kindred

We were so close that it was easy to tell we were brothers despite never living in the same home.

Whenever you sit around with the heavenly host,

Lift their moods if they become as sad as I am that you are home.

Be able to help them carry the burdens in their hearts if they ever get like mine now

Weighed down like the heaviest stone.

Every time you did something hilarious

We would laugh and then feel like we had not laughed enough

With you no longer here,

You still stayed true to your craft, because now my heart is cracking up.

This comes off selfish, I know.

Because I unashamedly being that

And yes, I understand that when He calls you, you have to go.

But in my mind I have a right to, at least, wonder why He summoned you so…

So…

Soon…

Why now? Why you?

Can I just hear one more story you told?

One inside joke so my insides know that with every tragedy there is comedy

So I can chuckle until in stitches then use those to sew my heart whole

Laughing as my tears flow.

To the funniest person I know.

I will see you later

Have a good time with the Creator

And make sure you share all of our favorite jokes.



Peace.

The Long And Short Of It

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A flirtatious exchange
Arrogantly believing you had me trapped within your web of seduction.
Neglecting the fact that the patient hunter leads his prey into thinking it’s safe.
That they, in this case,
You
Are winning this battle of wit doubling as foreplay
Conversation causes moisture in your psyche. Then,
I turned your synapses into orgasms
And sent chills down your stem.

In short, I fucked your brains out
In a little longer, we wrestled mentally and I pinned you into arousal.
Longing for me is your mind, stimulated
You proved that of all the sexual organs, the brain is the most powerful.

Shall we continue?


Immersed in heat
Thighs part as hips meet in tempo and intensity I choose, then repeat
Sexual percussion: crescendo goes the beat until knees get weak
And moans are speech, as you lose your ability to speak.
Uncontrollable convulsions
Joined pulses, peaks, and rhythms
Until all you can hear in the high silence is the sound of you giggling.

In short, I fucked you silly.
In a little longer, you willfully submitted your inhibitions to and my desires
Longing for me is your body, saturated
You proved that waterfalls can flow in the throes of passion’s fire.

Shall we continue?


Wanting to build
Though we were sexually fulfilled, orgasms caused hallucinations,
Resulting in us believing we shared more than just infatuation in the dark.
Lust as love’s mirage.
Erecting a partnership from erected body parts is damn near impossible.
And despite our efforts to bond
There was no chance of it happening.
The exchange of erotic fantasies was passionate
But after cravings vanished, our souls became abstinent.
And any other chemistry was absent.

In short, you fucked me over.
In long, I was supposed to leave you alone from the start
Longing for peace is my soul, aggravated.
You proved that sex isn’t an accurate assessment of the compatibility of two hearts.

So in short, we can no longer continue.


Peace.

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